EFT-C and Attachment Theory

Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT-C) uses attachment theory to understand the nature of adult emotional bonds. A multitude of studies on the subject have emerged in recent years, and they show that the human need for a secure attachment to another person is a biologically wired-in survival mechanism. Everyone needs a dependable emotional connection in primary relationships, one in which partners are able to support, validate, and enjoy each other.

EFT-C views the central problem in distressed relationships as the lack of reliable, attuned emotional responses at critical moments. All relationships deal with hurt feelings, differences, and moments of emotional disconnection. These disconnections, if not repaired, result in increasing distress because they threaten our basic human needs for emotional security, respect, and emotional engagement from our partners.

When partners can't protect and repair their emotional bond, normal differences, routine conflicts, and inevitable hurt feelings escalate because of underlying fears about the deeper connection. Over time, these conflicts can become rigid negative cycles that erode trust and security. What couples often do not understand is that most escalating fights are really protests over feeling emotionally disconnected. They involve desperate demands to be supported, respected, or cherished. Beneath the surface, each partner is really asking: "Are you emotionally available when I need you? ... Do you respect me and value my autonomy? ... Am I special to you and do you enjoy being with me?" Our approach works with these questions.

Our Approach to Couples Therapy

While emotionally focused therapy is our primary model for working with couples, we also incorporate other approaches. We integrate several theories that share common principles, adapting them to fit the unique needs of each couple.

More information about OUR APPROACH TO PSYCHOTHERAPY >>